Children’s Mental Health Week: Express yourself
Self expression is important for our children and our inner child. As self expression frees us from the moment, the past and connects us to the world around us in the present.
Self expression can be difficult for some, because they have been encouraged not to or haven not felt safe enough to do so. Common themes I come across with people who struggle to express themselves -
Parents policing their behaviour
Culture restraining their dreams
Silenced by the pain of adversity and the shame attached their insecurities
The above examples lead to be people unknowingly suppressing, instead of expressing.
What happens when you don’t express yourself?
When you don’t express yourself, you can feel trapped, unfulfilled, uncomfortable and unhappy.
Human beings are recycle systems and self expression is one of our processes. We breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. Our heart pumps blood around our body, cleans it and pumps it round again. We take something, convert, then push it out again. That’s what we do, that’s what all living beings do on this planet, and the health of the being and the planet is dependant on the cycles being maintained. But if we don’t complete the circuit, we block the process, compromising our experience and our health. For example, if you did not breath out after breathing in, you will be in trouble.
In terms of expression, it’s the same but not so intense. We absorb information from the outside world, convert the information using our past experiences, creating emotions in the process, then respond in our unique way. But if we don’t complete the circuit, there will be problems. Problems that can result in the overproduction of chemicals in the body that cause long term damage.
The habit of self expression is therapy, and can save your life as it frees the body of trapped emotion and allows other parts to function healthily.
How can you express yourself?
You can express yourself in different ways.
Talking
Running
Writing
Art
Sport
How I express myself
I use football, music and talking to express myself.
Football for me, is an alternative reality to displace aggression with less policing, as it’s a freer world. Also, I’m someone who likes to experience the world through embodied experiences, so playing football is my bodies way of using its voice. The fitter and stronger I am, the more freeing it feels, as it gives me access to a wider vocabulary.
I like to listen to music laying on my bed with my eyes closed, walking or running. Music assists my mind to wonder with no responsibility, something I find relaxing. This helps me to access creative ideas for projects I’m working on, I access the cellar of my unconscious.
The music also helps me to disassociate from my body when I run. I outsource the mechanics of my body to my unconscious mind while my conscious mind rests, admiring the scenery of my daydream. Without music I start to pay attention to little aches in my body, clock watch and don’t have the engagement from the inner cinema. Boring! Music occupies my mind and helps me express myself internally. This explains why I find running with music therapeutic and why my standards drop dramatically when I am not listening to music.
Talking helps me to put down whatever it is I’m holding. I don’t mind “uncomfortable conversations” because they are for a moment, not having the conversation can be discomfort for a life time!
How can you help your child in expressing themselves?
Allow your child to have a voice, enter their world now and again where they take the lead. You can do this by listening, asking questions, avoiding judgement and bringing positive vibes!
Share the ways you express yourself
Share how you feel, when you express yourself
Have conversations about the different ways their role models express themselves. They want to be like their role models, so give them another part to model.
What about your inner child?
We talk a lot about our children when the truth is, a lot of us are neglecting our inner child and the best thing we can do for our child is to model what we would like them to do. It helps us and it helps the, with that in mind -
Explore your childhood
Where did you have a voice? Where didn’t you have a voice?
How did this affect you?
Which activities did you use to express yourself?
What did they feel like?
If you no longer access those activities, what has happened to that part of you that connected with those activities?
How has the journey of self expression from childhood to adulthood been for you? What were the changes in the journey and why?
How do you express yourself now?
Where do/don’t you have a voice? The affects?
Different types of activities access different parts of you. Are you accessing the different parts of self or just the same one or two parts?
Hope you enjoyed reading this, and good luck exploring different ways of expressing yourself ;)
KG
